Intellectually challenged individuals
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower."
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two.."
- - We haven't used Sears repair since.
Intellectually challenged individuals
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's
take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, "you gave me too much money." I said,
"Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back."
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said
"We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing."
Then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change..
- - Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
Intellectually challenged individuals
I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the
DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
- - From Kingman, Kansas
Intellectually challenged individuals
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce."
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
- - From Kansas City
Intellectually challenged individuals
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
"Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
To which I replied,
"If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
- - Happened in Birmingham, Ala.
Intellectually challenged individuals
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded,
"What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"
- - She was a probation officer in Wichita, Kansas
Intellectually challenged individuals
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker.
She was leaving the company due to "downsizing."
Our manager commented cheerfully,
"This is fun. We should do this more often.
" Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
- - This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
Intellectually challenged individuals
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
- - A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, >
Intellectually challenged individuals
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!"
His reply, "I know. I already got that side."
- This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi
PLEASE.... STAY ALERT!
Intellectually challenged individuals
They walk among us...
Life is Short... Forgive Quickly... . Love Truly,
Laugh Uncontrollably,
Never Regret Anything That Made You Smile
Life is understood looking backwards but it must be lived forwards